Grif
Dexter Grif, typically simply called Grif, is a private (or possibly a sergeant, or even a Minor Junior Private Negative First Class) assigned to Red Team. He wears orange armor. Characteristics Grif's predominant characteristics are his overwhelming laziness and endless insubordination toward Sarge. At least in part due to this, Sarge despises him and frequently devises elaborate plans to kill him (or get him killed). Although friends with Simmons, he is as antagonistic toward him as he is toward everyone else. Grif is not very observant and knows nothing about technology, but he's usually the one to point out the ridiculousness of the situations they find themselves in. Grif's hatred for the military is well-known. He is incredibly out of shape, smoking and eating constantly. He also sleeps during staff meetings, and although he has the responsibility for carrying ammo in the field, he never remembers it. Despite constantly complaining about the army and trying to get discharged, he never goes so far as to desert, as he clearly cares about the other Reds and Blues, even if he tries to disguise his feelings. While Grif isn't a good fighter, he's not completely incompetent. He frequently uses a battle rifle, but hung onto the Meta's Brute Shot (which he calls the Grif Shot) and used it against the Texbots. More commonly, his role in Red Team is as the driver. He most frequently drives Red Team's Warthog, but has driven such diverse vehicles as the Elephant used by the dig team in the desert and a Pelican (though he was less skilled at landing it). Little is known about Grif's family history. His mother is said to have ran off to be a combination bearded and fat lady for a circus, leaving Grif to look after his younger sister Kaikaina. They were later reunited when Sister joined the army. History Time in Blood Gulch After becoming part of the army, Grif was assigned to Red Team under Sarge's command as a private. He quickly established himself as the laziest member of the team. Throughout the events of the Blood Gulch Chronicles, Grif consistently worked with Red Team, despite Sarge's repeated attempts to kill him. Initially, Simmons and Grif are always seen together as they send Donut to the store, chase Tucker and Church in the Warthog, and use CPR to save Sarge's life. Grif's first truly significant act is when Red Team attacks Blue Team after Doc shows up, as he forgets the ammunition, forcing Red Team to negotiate a ceasefire. In the agreement, Red Team gets Doc (a decision they later regret) and Grif has to publicly embarrass himself. Later, when Sarge decides to turn Simmons into a cyborg, he sends Grif and Donut outside to retrieve a needed part from the Warthog. This happens to be at the same time that Tucker, Lopez, and Sheila are heading to Red Base to warn the Reds to turn off their radios while Church and Tex fight Omega. Tucker, who is driving Sheila, is unable to find the brake and accidentally crushes Grif. Grif is severely injured, but Sarge is able to save his life by using Simmons' extra parts, now that Simmons is a cyborg. After overhearing Doc possessed by O'Malley, Donut is captured by the Blues. Sarge builds two robot bodies for Tex and Church in exchange for him, one of which (Robot Number 2) is programmed to punch Grif every time someone says the codeword "dirtbag". After the Parabola of Mystery, during which Omega and Doc attacked, Grif goes through the teleporter along with everyone else, ultimately being sent to Sidewinder with Church. The two are captured by the local Reds and put in jail, escaping when the door opens... somehow. He is then thrown into the "future" along with everyone else when the bomb in Church's stomach explodes. After getting Tex's message about Omega, Grif and the other Reds head to his fortress. During the fight, Doc and Omega retreat while the Reds and Blues are trapped inside with Tex's bomb. After being saved, the Reds discover and follow a distress signal back to Blood Gulch. Grif initially refuses to enter the canyon, but after Sarge, Simmons, and Donut use him for target practice, he reluctantly comes down. Shortly after, when Simmons switches to Blue Team after Sarge refuses to believe him about seeing Sheila drive by, Grif is promoted to Simmons' job. However, he's quickly demoted again due to his laziness. Grif stays with Red Team, though, convincing Simmons to return. This fails when Sarge refuses to let Simmons back on the team, and Grif is captured by Simmons and taken to Blue Base. Sarge attempts to rescue/kill him, but is knocked out after Church returns. Both are returned to the Red Team in exchange for the Warthog and Simmons eventually also returns. Eventually, a ship arrives and lands on Donut. It turns out to contain Kaikaina, Grif's sister. When he finds out she is supposed to replace a commanding officer that died, Grif manages to convince Sarge that he must have died and needs to be buried. However, he's concerned when the Reds figure out Sister is referring to the Blues' commanding officer (Captain Flowers) and sends her to Blue Team to try to protect her, though he almost immediately regrets this decision. After discovering the caves, Grif and Simmons enter them to look for Sarge. Both are attacked by the aliens, and Grif is taken for interrogation. He is later found unconscious by the Reds (who were looking for Sarge's shotgun) near Vic's video screens. On them, he sees Sister's armor lying inside Blue Base and is distressed at the thought that she might be dead, but turns to anger when he realizes she's just naked. Once returning to the surface, Grif, Sarge, and Simmons take over Blue Base during Wyoming's time loops. After Tucker breaks the time loops, Grif and the other Reds help kill Wyoming's clones. Finally, after Andy explodes on Tex's ship, Grif returns to Red base with the rest of the team and life seems to return to normal. After Blood Gulch After Blood Gulch, both the Reds and the Blues are reassigned. After Sarge refuses orders to leave, Grif is promoted to sergeant and assigned to Red Base at Rat's Nest along with Simmons. He is evidently not a very competent leader, as his own men mutiny and prepare to execute him and Simmons for selling their ammunition to the Blues. They are rescued by Sarge, who is mentally incapable of accepting Grif's new rank. Initially, the reformed Reds attack Wash and the Blues, but after Grif is attacked by the Meta (after trying to order him around), they join up to defeat him. As part of the agreement to get their help, Washington claims to have demoted Grif to Minor Junior Private Negative First Class, although it is never confirmed whether this actually happened. Grif later assists in the assault on the Freelancer base where Epsilon was stored and escapes along with Simmons and Sarge as they cover Caboose escaping with Epsilon's storage unit while Wash and Church set off the Ehmp that defeats the Meta. In recognition for their efforts, the Reds are assigned to Valhalla. There, Grif falls back into his typical pattern of laziness and insubordination, particularly after Sarge creates Holo-Grifs in their hologram chamber to shoot. After Caboose receives Donut's message about Tucker's distress signal, Grif and Sarge accompany him to the temple in the desert, where they run into CT. They end up fighting CT and his alien allies with Tucker's help and reach safety inside the temple. Finally, Epsilon kills CT and the aliens, obsessed with Epsilon, stop attacking them. Grif and Sarge return to Valhalla when Sarge deduces Simmons has been captured by Washington and the Meta. He smashes through a wall with a Warthog, pinning down Wash, and they all escape with Simmons. Back in the desert, Grif and the other Reds end up following Epsilon to the Freelancer storage facility, where they are beat up by Tex, but mostly Grif's groin. Afterward, Simmons experiments with armor enhancements and attaches a speed enhancement to Grif's armor, making him run around talking very quickly until he collapses from exhaustion. When Tex and Church leave to seek out the Director, the Reds initially stay behind. However, after a rousing inspirational speech from Sarge in which he points out Grif has had many opportunities to leave Red Army but never did, Grif and Simmons agree to help Caboose save Tex and Church. Grif manages to transport them there in a Pelican, though he has to crashland it. During the fight with the Meta, Grif is pulled over the cliff at Sidewinder and is only saved by hanging onto the Meta's Brute Shot, which is wedged into the ice. After being rescued, Grif keeps the weapon. Grif later participates in the attack by the Reds, Blues, Wash, and Carolina to rescue Epsilon from the capture unit and in Carolina's mission to find the Director. When they return to Valhalla, Grif and the other Reds relax and enjoy being home. The peace doesn't last long, as Epsilon and Carolina soon reveal their plan to kill the Director... which involves everyone else being used as cannon fodder. Grif is the first to refuse and leaves, inspiring the rest to do the same. Some time later, Doc reminds everyone else that even though their adventures have been hard and dangerous, they've all gained things from them and ultimately came out better than they were before. Grif and the others agree to help once again and they go to help rescue Epsilon and Carolina from the Texbots. After the Director dies, the Reds and Blues return to Blood Gulch. Alternate versions Caboose's mental Grif In Caboose's head, Grif initially wears yellow armor and is incredibly cowardly. He later wears orange-ish armor and compliments Simmons. He does not play a significant role. Capture unit Grif The version of Grif in the capture unit is significantly different from the real one. In the capture unit, Grif is actually very hardworking and diligent, being obsessed with cleanliness. It isn't until Sarge orders him to relax that he begins to recover his real personality, making up excuses, trying to get out of work, and simply not caring about anything. The capture unit Grif, along with Donut and Sarge, finds Lopez hilarious and doesn't initially believe Simmons' worries about the earthquakes. He also knows very little about Simmons, as seen when Red Team believes Simmons to be dead. Despite this, he and Simmons are still said to be close friends by Donut. When this Grif learns about the end of the world, he panics, but calms down when he hears Sarge's plan. He is assigned to build the bomb to blow up the core of the planet to stabilize it. Being lazy, however, he instead simply yells at the Blues until Tex becomes angry enough to build a bomb herself and leave it by the Reds. Believing the world is going to end even after the bomb fails to go off, he leaves to go to sleep. He, along with the rest of the capture unit versions, disappears when the capture unit is opened and Epsilon is taken out. Category:Character Category:Red Team